"Why Nots", What Ifs", and Other Musings

What Is Intimacy?

By Wayne Harmon

To many people, the term “intimacy” as a euphemism for sex. That’s blunt, but that’s the way it is. The truth is that sex can be one of the least intimate activities in a marriage.

Many couples with troubled marriages will readily admit that their sex lives are great. They are receiving pleasure, but they aren’t concerned about whether or not they are giving pleasure. Intimacy focuses on the other person. When Jesus invites us, men and women, to intimacy, He is saying, “Into Me See” – “Intimacy”.

A few years ago I read the Song of Solomon seeing myself as the Bride. (I’ll admit this was a bit of a stretch for a guy to do!) Within the first chapter I came to this realization that changed my intimacy with Jesus.

HE IS MADLY, HOPELESSLY, HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE WITH ME!!

He doesn’t just LOVE me. He is IN LOVE with me. Wow.

Our culture today has made it difficult for men to express affection toward another man. Oh, we can hug, as long as we try to squeeze the breath out of each other and let go quickly, followed by painful backslaps. Because of this many of us are missing the intimacy Jesus desires. But there is a male to male intimacy that many men have either forgotten, or may never have experienced. That is the intimacy of a father and a son.

Watch a dad holding his infant son. He embraces him. He kisses him. He nuzzles him. He will do anything to protect him. That is intimacy.

Watch a young boy love his daddy. He readily climbs into his lap. He throws his arms around his daddy’s neck. He whispers, “I love you, Daddy” into his ear. He kisses him right on the lips. He plays with hair, and pulls his nose. Then he goes to sleep in the safest place on the whole planet, in his daddy’s arms. That is intimacy.

This same intimacy is found between a bride and her husband. My wife tells me that the place she feels the safest is in my arms. So it is with the Jesus and His Bride. In His arms is the safest place we can be. That is intimacy.